ESSEX GEEZER - Platinum Silicone Dildo
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click here to read an independent review from Joanne's Reviews.
NB: This toy is available in a hand poured technique called fusion. As such, each dildo in this colour is individual, and the colouring of each sex toy using this method are aesthetically different and bespoke.
The Essex Geezer has earned a bit of a reputation and rightly so. This loud‑and‑proud character is a firm favourite among customers who love a toy with attitude, swagger and a signature “pop” that’s talked about almost as much as the Geezer himself.
Its bold, protruding shape and exaggerated contours give it that unmistakable Essex flair, inspired by legendary tales of wild nights, big personalities and even bigger stories. This Geezer brings that same energy into your collection; cheeky, confident and full of mischief.
With its full, rounded form and a design that delivers a satisfyingly pronounced exit, The Essex Geezer is all about giving you that unforgettable, crowd‑pleasing moment it’s become famous for.
If you want a piece with charm, character and a bit of Essex mischief, the Essex Geezer is ready to show you a good time.
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I really like the overall design — the slightly larger head compared to the slimmer shaft gives it a nice, realistic shape and makes everything feel a bit more interesting.
The material is soft and pleasant to the touch, but still firm enough to keep its shape. It’s not too squishy, so it doesn’t bend or feel unstable, which I really appreciate.
Thanks to the gently tapered shape, insertion feels very smooth and natural. It almost creates a subtle “pulling” sensation, as if it’s being drawn in on its own. Once past that point, the slightly thicker ridge adds a really nice feeling of fullness that makes the slimmer shaft barely noticeable.
The Essex Geezer is one of my favorite dildos. If you think you've "got" it once the head is in, you're wrong! Then comes the foreskin! I have the XL and enjoy it daily. If you're not afraid of an anus stretched to the limit, you should order it! Highly recommended!
What a great arse opener! Just a bit too soft to self-insert easily...
Great. Perfect size.
Great width…. And just the right suppleness.
Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely review - Essex Geezer is a long term favourite of many and we always love to hear that our customers are loving it still.
Do you like a big filling stretch??
If so this is the toy for you!!!
I love the huge head and foreskin!! It is so filling and at the point just past the foreskin drags its self in.
You will have to warm up nicely before taking the huge girth of the head but once you are the filling stretching pleasure is amazing!
I have it in large, medium firmness. I find that medium gives it just the right amount of firmness to be able to push down/bounce on it perfectly for insertion, but is less forgiving when inserted which is something I actually love! There is no misunderstanding what the Essex geezer is doing to you….. leaving you gaped.
AH - Essex Geezer! Thank you for leaving such a great review about this chap. His shape is a crowd pleaser and his 'pop' is raved about widely. X
Great toy for those who prefer girth over length... The head is the widest point, so it gives a great stretch!
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