HANS - Platinum Silicone Dildo
REALISTIC DILDO | PLATINUM SILICONE
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- Foreskin
- Balls
- Straight Shaft
- Smooth skin texture
- OK for use with Sex Machine
- Ideal for use with Strap on
- Sturdy for use with secured base or unaided
Say hallo to Hans — the tall, charming German with a wonderfully floppy, easygoing attitude. Hans carries himself with a relaxed confidence and a shape that feels unmistakably his own.
He’s long, laid‑back, and full of personality, with a soft, flexible nature that gives him an irresistibly friendly presence. There’s a gentle whimsy to him - the kind that makes you smile before you even realise it - and a sweet little heart‑shaped detail at the top that hints at his affectionate side.
Hans has that unmistakable German blend of sturdiness and softness, a character who doesn’t need to shout to make an impression. He’s playful, approachable, and quietly proud of his unique silhouette, bringing a touch of continental charm to the collection.
Warm‑hearted, floppy, and full of personality…
Hans is ready to join the line‑up with a grin and a wink.
Stability and Texture
Dimensions
What You Need to Know
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Accessories
The Hans
Small - medium firmness
This isn't actually the toy I originally ordered—there was a mix-up, and John Thomas Toys accidentally sent me The Hans instead of The Hopper I'd been waiting months for to release. I contacted them right away, and they handled it brilliantly: not only did they ship The Hopper free of charge (arriving the next day!), but they also let me keep The Hans as a bonus.
I figured it was only fair to leave a review for it. While I didn't choose it myself, it arrived in the exact specs I'd selected for The Hopper (black, small, medium firmness), which just confirms the error was an honest accident—these things happen sometimes.
Funnily enough, if I'd been shopping for The Hans originally, I would've picked the same configuration anyway. I'd always leaned toward toys with the foreskin peeled back and head fully exposed, so I wasn't sure this one would appeal to me. That said, I already own and love Mr Frobisher (which also has a more covered head design), so I gave it a fair shot.
And wow—it's really good! I'm not just saying that because it was free. The smooth texture feels fantastic, and while it doesn't have the monster girth of some other small-size realistic toys in their range (making it more beginner-friendly or great for warmup), girth isn't everything. I adore my larger, girthier pieces, but I often start sessions with Mr Frobisher... and sometimes he gets me there on his own without needing anything bigger.
The Hans is right up there with Mr Frobisher now—I've already had multiple orgasms with it, and the shape combined with that smooth, subtle texture really hits the spot. I've definitely overlooked this toy before, but it's earned a permanent place in my anal play rotation. It's also excellent for oral practice thanks to its manageable size and realistic feel.
Highly recommend The Hans if you're into realistic designs with a more approachable girth, great texture, and versatility whether as a starter, warmup, or standalone favorite!
Best anal dildoe I've ever used.
Thank you for taking the time to review and we are so glad you love our Hans x
I love this dildo, is so smooth and not veiny, just perfect for my fuck machine! Such an amazing feel and high quality!!
WHOPPER 🩷
Thank you for this super review. X